I ran the 1/2 marathon in Fergus Falls 2 weekends ago.  I was prepared and tapered.  My long runs were completed faster than I had ever run.  My body was in such good shape.  My good running friend helped talk me through the best way to train in 3 weeks.  I was so pumped to break my record from 2 years ago.   I had a great race at Grandma's 10 years ago.  My sister and I ran a 1/2 in 1:39 mins.  We hauled it and kicked major you know what.   My goal for this race was to break 1:50.  Now that I am a mother of one,  I decided to push it hard core for 3 weeks and break my lousy time from Fargo, which was 1:54. 

I started the race feeling awesome. 

The first 7 hills in the first mile were conquered and my pace was right one track, 7:45.  I won't go through all the details, but lets say in the next 11 miles, I had to walk 4 times.  I expected hills.  So, I ran hill repeats until my heart rate was too high.  What I didn't expect, was that the course would be constant hill after hill making it impossible for me to get back to my pace.

Mile 11

You didn't think I would actually put a picture of me walking did you? :)

At mile 11, my mom was cheering me on while sitting on the curb.  This voice inside of me said, "just stop Kelly, just sit on the curb next to your mom, no one will ever know you quit!"  I was seriously so close to dropping out.  I lived in Fergus for 3 years and ran the hills for 3 years, but did those hills grow since I have been gone?  It was the most challenging course I have ever run.  Do you know what got me through the next mile?

That kid in the orange.  The cute little stinker that pushes through more than anything I have ever witnessed.  If he could do it, then I can and MUST do it.  It is only fair.

I am so thankful to have a husband that is so supportive.  He pushed me through the last 1/2 mile.  He talked me through every breath and every painful step.

I didn't make my goal.  I ran 4 minutes slower at 1:54.  I was still proud of myself though.  I completed it for no one other than myself.   Another race checked off the list.

My Dad is the reason I started to run.  I was so happy to have him there to support me.

Cooling off in the shade.  I love my boys.

Katie even came to cheer me on! 

Ethan decided to wake up for the finish!  I was so happy to have him there!

Are any of you running any race's this summer?  I challenge you to even complete a 5k walk!  Watch out though, it may become addicting!!

My Evening Run

As I head out of the door for my run tonight, I decide to leave the Ipod and Garmin at home.  To run by how I feel again, not by what the numbers tell me.  It feels so good to head out the door with a clean house and both the boys in bed.  My hubby is so exhausted from getting up every morning at 5:00 A.M. to workout, that he can hardly wait to cuddle up with Carsen in our bed.  He informed me this morning that he ran with the Morris running club.  I paused for a good 10 seconds before responding. 

"You're kidding right?" 

He says, "No, why would I be kidding.  You don't think I would run with Jen Lund, Mark VanOverbeke and bunch of other guys?"

I still don't believe him, even though he insists that he ran 4.1 miles at about 8:30 pace and 6:30 pace the last part of the run.  My husband, in a running club. What in the world happened to my husband?!!  I am amazed.  Since he is showing me up, I decide to push it a good 6 miles tonight.  I was more excited to actually go out and run in the rain.  I am wearing my favorite Nike jacket.  Listening to the drops hit the thin material is soothing.  The sky is dark and it is quiet outside.  I believe everyone in the neighborhood has settled down for the night.  Just a few lights are shining from inside.  Something about running on a calm Summer evening makes me feel so good.  I push it through the first 3 miles and start to notice the rain running down my biceps.  The song in my head is a really poor choice for a Summer evening.   A Christmas carol...I know it sounds pathetic.  I won't mention which one.  I would hate for anyone else to think about Christmas at this time.  Multiple things run through my mind.  I wonder when I will feel ready to have another baby, if I will ever be able to handle life with another child.  I wonder how this weekend will go when I get to hold another Nephew for the first time.  He got his braces in the mail today and I can hardly wait to show them to Carsen.  I wonder if I will be able to spend enough time with my 2 nephews and niece so that they know how much I love them, even though I live 9 hours away.  Will my hair turn out okay tomorrow even though my sister-in-law isn't doing it for the first time in many years?  Will Carsen be good while the brunette graciously takes care of him while she has a free day to herself?  Will the spinach tortellini salad be good on a rainy day tomorrow?  Does my mom know how much of an Angel she is to her family?  I could go on and on, but I would hate to drive you all insane!  I think a lot and that is why I run.  I have many worries over small things.  Running a long distance helps me clear my brain of little questions like these.  By the time I am home,  I feel so refreshed. 

What do you do to help yourself unwind with this crazy life?  Do you workout?  Do you complete a certain task?   I am curious, what helps you to breathe again?

Clickin Mom's

Have you ever stumbled upon a blog that you just couldn't quit reading or browing through some fabulous photos?  I do, ALL THE TIME.  Blogging has been such a great way for me to share my life and read about the life of others.  We read about the good and the bad.  We share our greatest moments and not so great moments.  I am addicted to blogging and reading blogs.  One blog in particular that keeps my mouth dropped wide open is my cousin's.  It is the very first blog I started to read.  It is one of those blogs that made me laugh out loud, re-read the post, and laugh out loud again.  I can't get enough of it.  Check it out because she has the BEST give away going on through Clickin Moms.  Jess has some of the best pictures I have ever laid my eyes on.  So, even if you arn't interested in blogging, at least check out her blog and the giveaway here

Happy

Do you ever have one of those days,you know, the kind of day where you just want to curl up in a ball and sleep.  Forget this crazy world...forget the stresses and just sleep away peacefully!  My day is a little like that.  I keep telling my hubby, I think I am sick.  I feel tired and nauseated!  No, I am not preggers, I promise you.  Fatigue is settling in.  After my three 12 hour days last weekend I just can't seem to kick it!  I am praying and trying to focus on the good things in life.  To be a strong mother is one of my biggest wants in life and a major need for Carsen.  Sometimes, I am okay with not being the strongest, ONLY if I can pick myself back up again and push through these aweful feelings.  Today, in between waves of nausea, I am enjoying my little boy.  He knows when I work long days.  He is starting to show me that he wants me and needs me.  It is a very nice feeling.  To be wanted.  After working a late night last night, getting little sleep, and getting up early for therapy at home, I complete my to do list by the time Carsen's special ed teacher rings the doorbell.  He loves, loves, loves Judy.  AND I love when he is happy.  Today is not a happy day for him which is fine.  She distracts him through a whole hour of fun games and bubble machines.  I have never witnessed a person work so hard at their job in my life.  I would think by the time one is in their 50's they would just settle for the "usual" ways to teach a child with special needs.  Not Judy.  She continues to find ways JUST FOR CARSEN.  Do you realize how good that makes me feel.  Somebody cares enough to put added stress in their one hour with Carsen.  To describe it all is difficult, as are most things in our life.  I am tellin ya, we are a blessed family to have Judy in our life.  My little boy shows me he wants up and wants to be held by me which is just fine by me.  He is needing me right now and I am needing his cuddles and hugs.  This makes me happy.

On Sunday he gave a kiss to a family friend that doesn't get the chance to see him very much.  Something about her beauty made him think at that split second..."she needs a kiss!"  I was so proud that he was giving kisses to other people and so proud that he can show love, even when we least expect it.  This makes me happy.

Today, we have cuddled our morning away.  We rocked in our chair with Carsen's fav blankie and sang every song I could come up with.  I am the world's BEST singer!  (To Carsen that is!)  He smiles and smiles at the silly words and high pitch notes I struggle reaching.  This makes me happy.

I was so happy to have 10 friends and their 6 kids over for supper on Sunday.  I truly believe that having close friends and the kids over is one of the most important things in life.  To celebrate life and our friendships.  Listening to the kids having dodgeball fights, playing with ALL the toys in the house, digging for worms, playing bocce ball, riding toys and watching them all enjoy eachother's company was more than a blast.  I feel so blessed to have such awesome friends in my life.  This makes my soul happy.

The sunshine, rain, a planted garden completed, a 7 mile tempo run, leftover calico beans, a husband that cleans the whole kitchen after our friends leave, a clean house, a house filled with fun, a clean house again, a red shiney gait trainer, a sister just a phone call away, buster bar dessert and windows open during the day are making me happy this week. 

What are the little things in your life that are making your week go better?

I think every mother has challenges in their life that seem too difficult to manage.  A mother with true strength is one that is able to accept the challenges, pick oneself up and focus on the good.  We all do it.  It takes more time to get back up sometimes.  But those positive, happy things in our life pull us forward and back on track.

There is nothing more beautiful than my bleeding hearts!

(My computer crashed and have finally been able to get my photos backed up...this post is a few weeks old but wanted to put some pics with it!)